Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
