my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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