maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
