Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
