the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
