Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize