They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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