Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
