Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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