the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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