I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
