Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
