I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
