She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize