The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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