walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
