apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
