Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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