Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
