But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
