After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
