dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
