she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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