he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
