I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
third nipple confirmed
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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