Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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