am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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