I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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