yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
