TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
