I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
