I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
