If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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