I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
