i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
