OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
