I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize