she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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