Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
