rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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