And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
