I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
