I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
