Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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