So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
