He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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