I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize