This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
