I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
