Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize