there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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