woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
