your parents love me but you hate me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
