So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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