I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
