Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
